People who are too perfect don't make friends. I have some friends I can talk about that stuff with, but not most of them.
I don't *truly* understand why but accept that the above quote is true. When you're around people who aren't as pretty, accomplished, "good," or experienced, they feel terribly flawed. Part of what I don't understand** is because at the same time, I'm looking at their ability to "read between the lines" and pick up on social cues that I don't see and *I'm* feeling terribly flawed.
Even at church the other day- a group of folks who don't drink were passing around a rum cake. They were all joking about how it takes them back to old times when they used to drink. They were commenting on how strong the cake was. I didn't know what they were talking about so when it came to me, I said, "yum, smells like cake!" They all burst out laughing and teased me about alcohol. They thought I was trying to be funny by pretending I didn't smell the rum, and they liked the joke.
Only it wasn't a joke! I asked if that's what they were talking about- the rum, and told them I didn't smell it. They passed the cake back to me and were shocked that I couldn't smell the rum. I honestly tell you it just smelled like cake. When they quizzed me a bit and discovered that I rarely drank growing up and really, honestly, had no idea what part of the cake smelled like rum, the whole atmosphere changed.
It's happened before- people stiffen up, they draw back from you. You know you've said something wrong, but you usually don't know what. Only, this time I knew because I've been in this situation before. Usually with church folks, strangely.
So I made some comment about how, "well, I never was a drinker or smoker, but I was still deep in SIN." The mood lightened and the rest of the evening was fun.
But it still goes to show: You can't be too "perfect" or too "different" around NTs. They take too great offense.