A House Divided, Part 2

On ChristianMingle.com, I took the "Colors" test and found out that I am a core Red (power, gets things done efficentily, wants to be in control). I also found out that I'm almost as strongly blue (intimacy, want to love and be loved by others). I found an interesting quote about people like me:

What if you're purple

Hartman states unequivocally, “The most difficult color combination within one individual is the mixture of Red and Blue.” The reason a Blue-Red combination is such a difficult personality is that the Red and Blue core motives are in direct conflict. The example Hartman used is that a Blue-Red will delegate a task and be cutthroat about getting the job done (Red characteristic), only to feel guilty about it later (Blue characteristic).

Conflict.

A House Divided.

That is the struggle I am overcoming.

I want to be who I am, but feel guilty knowing that means going against the grain of this world and worrying about the impact of my individuality on my son.

I want to be holy, but feel bad because a holy lifestyle condemns others (even church-goers) without my even opening up my mouth.

I don't want to continue living in conflict, being embarrassed about who I am but not desiring to be like others in some ways and unable to change in others.

But the Lord didn't come for us to live in conflict! He came that we might have life and that more abundantly!

Lord help me life a life that honors YOU free from the burdens of man-made guilt-induced conflict.