The other day, I was listening to "call of the day" on Dr. Laura's website*, and she asked a young lady who was putting up with a man who didn't treat her very well, "Are you fat, dumb, or ugly?" Dr. Laura's point was that this girl must feel she is one of those three categories if she was willing to tolerate such poor treatment in her relationship. It came out that the girl was overweight, and Dr. Laura gave her some advice for improving her body as well as her body image.
My question then remains... what do you do if you feel you are in the other two categories?
If you are ugly, there ARE things you can do to improve your appearance, but if you have certain physical deformities/injuries/body weaknesses (like I do!) there's just not much you can do about it. I know there's a certain physical feature that I have that turns guys off. It's not readily visible, but if I ever get into a close relationship he will discover it. And then what? That is so scary to me!
And what if you are dumb? Or maybe not "really" dumb, but what if you, like me, are very slow at processing things? So you (like me) can comprehend great theories that hurt other peoples heads... but it takes you a longer time to do it. And when people talk to you, you have a delay before you can fully process what they are saying and appropriately respond? How do you overcome the negative self-esteem that goes along with THAT? I "fake it till you make it" well enough at work to get along and keep my good-paying job, but I don't even attempt to keep up the "I'm just as smart as you" facade off duty.
Would like your suggestions... what has worked for other people you know?
* I'm having trouble with her site, but when I find the link to this call I'll post it.