Saturday, February 21, 2009

I forgot I had a blog!

Wow. I forgot I had a blog. I re-discovered it by accident while learning how to "follow" someone else's blog. And so here it is. With some posts. And one really good post. So I guess I should start using this blog. Well, I'm in a bit of a bad mood right now, so maybe right now is not the time to start.

Then again, maybe someone else would be comforted by knowing they aren't alone in feeling down. If you're feeling down right now, you're not alone. I am too.

I just came from a revival. It was a very good service, but afterward I watched everyone chit-chatting with each other and felt very left out. I know the Lord has brought me a long way in developing socially, but this Aspie just wasn't in the social spirit today. I could tell I was making people uncomfortable, and so removed my presence. I suppose I should celebrate that I could tell people were getting uncomfortable (fidgeting, changing the subject or talking to someone else as soon as I gave them an opening). After all, 2-3 years ago, I wouldn't have noticed.

That's part of the rub, though. I remember a time not caring what others thought and not realizing what they thought. I don't remember how I discovered I was different and that no, everyone else DIDN'T think, feel, and act the way I did. All I know is now I feel bad, and a few years ago I wouldn't have felt bad because I wouldn't have noticed.

But all things work to the good of those who love the Lord. I truly love the Lord, and I'm sure He will reveal to me His purpose in all this. And I'm also sure that tomorrow I'll be in a better mood, and will have something much better to write.


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