tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.comments2020-09-23T17:04:34.148-07:00Saved AspieSavedAspiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.comBlogger179125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-87914212924314328412016-03-12T14:19:48.408-08:002016-03-12T14:19:48.408-08:00Hey... Welcome Back!!!!Hey... Welcome Back!!!!Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-2918439012060914802014-07-27T14:13:05.729-07:002014-07-27T14:13:05.729-07:00Also, the reason I learned my body in the first pl...Also, the reason I learned my body in the first place was through reading "Woman's Orgasm" which outlines a plan for helping women have one if they never have before. There's some things in that book I don't like (as a Christian - for, example, thinking of a hot start while exploring yourself...that just sounds adulterous to me), but you can skip over steps you don't like and still get a lot out of the book!SavedAspiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-77554133648428472292014-07-27T14:07:37.673-07:002014-07-27T14:07:37.673-07:00I am so sorry you're having such trouble with ...I am so sorry you're having such trouble with penetration. I found it very painful too the first year or so I was married. <br /><br />Your husband is getting frustrated, so he must not realize HE can do a lot to make things better. For one, he can read "She Comes First" about how to get you truly ready for penetration and how to bring you enjoyment so you'll actually get something out of the sexual act. For two, most women don't generate the natural lubricant that makes sex easier unless the man has been good and loving to him. Husbands complain, but they don't start treating their wives any better.<br /><br />I was married for over 10 years and never got enjoyment out of sex for three reasons: <br /><br />1. I had been abused as a child and had no arousal until the Lord delivered me of that hurt.<br /><br />2. I needed to learn my body. A woman's body doesn't work like a man's and many men get angry because they expect a woman is like them - couple of rubs and he's done. Well, she's not like him. Her body takes a lot more work to get sexual enjoyment and what works for her can change from day to day. <br /><br />3. My husband was mean to me, and that dried up all of my arousal. For awhile I thought I was dysfunctional because even after the Lord healed the hurt of my childhood and I began to feel arousal, it would rarely come from my husband. The few times I'd feel aroused were when some other guy was nice to me. I'd have to stay away from that other guy and pray and fast for those feelings to go away so I wouldn't risk falling into adultery. <br /><br />Finally I figured it out! IT was because he was so mean. He would only be nice when he thought about making love. He would read an article that says "women are like crock pots, it takes them all day to heat up" so he would say he loved me in the morning and send me an email at lunch. But woven around those things was an air of disrespect and an obvious "I'm only saying/doing these things because I want to make love tonight," which totally had the opposite effect: it made me LESS interested in spending that time with him.<br /><br />I wish more men figured out that if they would treat their wives lovingly that even if she weren't into lovemaking herself, she would be more likely to please him in that area.SavedAspiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-48339023500759342172014-03-13T09:10:11.675-07:002014-03-13T09:10:11.675-07:00I just got married last week & was a virgin. p...I just got married last week & was a virgin. penetration has been so painful. I don't hate sex, I want to enjoy it so much with my husband. I cant think of anything else & my husband is getting frustatedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-15710796590557461612013-10-29T19:08:47.367-07:002013-10-29T19:08:47.367-07:00I just discovered your blog recently, I can relate...I just discovered your blog recently, I can relate and enjoy the depth of your observations.<br /><br />I also struggle with how to communicate important observations without triggering defenses or coming across judgmental.<br /><br />Some ideas that might help:<br /><br />Wrap it in a positive sandwich, start with a compliment, insert criticism, end with compliment. <br /><br />Drop hints to try to guide the other person to recognizing the judgment on their own.<br /><br />Be cautious of timing and location when criticizing. One on one is better than in front of a group and putting the person in an embarrassing position.<br /><br />Timing, learn to recognize how willing and ready a person is to hear criticism. Some people don't want to know or aren't ready to acknowledge yet. Sharing at that time is pointless. <br /><br />Or just trust being yourself. Be short, sweet, honest and direct. If you lose friends, make new ones that appreciate your unique thinking.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06747596328993238129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-27375798870211620282013-04-17T18:19:54.669-07:002013-04-17T18:19:54.669-07:00Girrrrrrl... I just went to a yoga class and was b...Girrrrrrl... I just went to a yoga class and was bawling the WHOLE 90 minutes!!!<br /><br />Now I know what you were talking about. Love you!! JJJJ (Your bestie)http://www.janinewiggins.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-80587512598392516352012-08-22T05:50:48.510-07:002012-08-22T05:50:48.510-07:00Sorry Ruby! I've been out of country. I hope ...Sorry Ruby! I've been out of country. I hope all is well. I haven't logged into my facebook account yet to see what you might have written, but I do hope between now and when you wrote the post you've been able to find some friends who can support you and your daughter. <br />SavedAspiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-20473511700073117732012-04-19T05:51:30.221-07:002012-04-19T05:51:30.221-07:00Hi Paris! As you probably know if you got my faceb...Hi Paris! As you probably know if you got my facebook frindship message, I just discovered a day ago that I am an Aspie. Is 5:35 in the morning so I started reading your posts about 11:00 pm . Lol Of course I couldn't stop but I am not tired. Through your writing I feel that I know you. Is like listening to the ME inside that for many years I just couldn't understand why I always felt like this. Say,this inexplicable existential pain. Recently I discovered that much of that pain was feeling as I don't belong even within my family.Now thanks to the Lord realized that I belong to Him and I am not like you alone. Never. He is everywhere and His presence fills everything. I love outdoors too. I think we are very similar. I also used to have a very good job, I have had many but always ended up losing them for my fault or my Aspie things not getting along, saying the wrong things at the wrong people etc. And I could talk about that a lot but is too much and too long as you can imagine. So I just wanted to tell you that many times I felt like not doing it anymore, especially now that I am unemployed for obvious reasons as Aspie LOL! But now that I have been reading a lot about AS and your posts I realize that I am not the only one feeling like that. I was this last time after being fired I got into many arguments with a bullie until I told her off really well that she cried. So I was shortly after let go. And it hurt me a lot. Then I got into another job and ended bad too. Because my car was repossesed, and got another job which let me go because I didn't have a car to do the home visits etc. So I got so tired tired of fighting this life that I thought I just wanted to stop it. But what has always kept me up is my daughter. She is 19 I am 47 and I started reading abour AS more in detail because I thought she might have traits of AS and she does, but I am more... intensely affected in my social area than her. Plus I came to the US 12 years ago and is when it became even more evident than my country. I am mixed too like you. And I like the same things than you except that I like movie theaters because they are fresh. And try to look for a clean one a nice spot, you know lol! And I don't like long distance running because I get super tired but I like surfing and ridding my bike which I recently learned to do without hands. Yeah! so I guess old dogs yes can learn new tricks. But lately my social traits are more acutely affecting me since I am not working nor have a definite schedule like before etc. Anyway I hope you get this post. I definitely would like to be friends i feel you as a sister. In Christ we are. Ruby. Oh and Paris is my favorite name and city. :)STAR BRIGHThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06816083987082643158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-23752325625458319522012-04-18T20:09:13.273-07:002012-04-18T20:09:13.273-07:00Hi ! I am so happy to have found your blog. I just...Hi ! I am so happy to have found your blog. I just realized that I am an Aspie yesterday by myself because of all my struggles along the way. Work has been very difficult as you can imagine. I wpuld like to be in touch with you if you would like. Yesterday I was looking for info because I thought my daughter is Aspie and she probably is, however the main shock or not really , was that I exhibit even more profound symptoms or characteristics. So yes like you i am saved actually i was thinking last night that we Aspies are like Children of the Light, we like good honest people and cannot stand lies or darkness in the character of those we are around. or is it only me? A big hug I feel as if I just found a lost friend. Ruby. . Thank you I hope you write back. Take careSTAR BRIGHThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06816083987082643158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-25623932213127755002012-03-20T11:54:28.875-07:002012-03-20T11:54:28.875-07:00this happens to me a lot, the worst was when i was...this happens to me a lot, the worst was when i was talking to someone and i would just trail off and like literally make a facial expression or say something form my daydream and my friend would just be like woah what was that? i was able to control it down from that point but it still happens and i cant concentrate on my assignments from school or anything else. i really dont know what to do but the main thing is i try to realize its happening and i try to stop it. but yeah its a constant occurence i guess we have to strenghten our minds to resist this urge. sorry for all the spelling mistakes lolIrfan Maliknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-45310530833015427572012-03-06T13:00:07.866-08:002012-03-06T13:00:07.866-08:00I wish that I could help you with this but I have ...I wish that I could help you with this but I have the same issue. Great post:)pregnancy week by weekhttp://www.surebaby.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-63645033407952508562012-02-15T21:02:38.063-08:002012-02-15T21:02:38.063-08:00Wow, what you said is completely and totally my li...Wow, what you said is completely and totally my life right now. I had two recently ex-friends that basically told me that I was angry over little things, petty things that build up over time that I tried to process and couldn't because when I would try to express my feelings they told me my feelings were invalid, and why I can't I be normal? Heh good question don't have that answer right? I never told them I had Aspergers until recently after one told me she never wanted to speak to me again and the other finally saying the same thing and that I have to tell people about this "issue" because that way people can run away from me. That and its so nice when people tell you which is probably why at least i get angry people call me a liar when I tell people. They are like yah right. I have worked on my anger, but Your blog made total sense to me and I just felt super connected to everything you said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-68774750211705885652011-12-15T21:59:04.081-08:002011-12-15T21:59:04.081-08:00Hi there,
I read your blog from time to time (I&#...Hi there,<br /><br />I read your blog from time to time (I'm PDDNOS), and you do bring up interesting points especially about taking care of yourself first so that your child would reap benefits from that.<br /><br />I do believe that is true, I focus a lot on my kid, and have told people around me that I'd rather focus my attention on her needs than on myself. I do neglect myself from time to time, okay, I do neglect myself a lot. I justify it by thinking she comes first, but in the end, if I'm a mess, she'll be a mess. I'm learning the hard way now.<br /><br />You said:<br /><br />"And finally, I must budget adequate time for proper grooming, which improves the way other people treat me as well as the way I feel about myself."<br /><br />Another hard lesson because I'm certainly not helping myself but neglecting my looks when there are communication problems, etc. For the life of me, I still cannot understand why appearance is so important. I'm slowly learning that it is just one of those things in life I will never understand but has to be done.<br /><br />Sorry if my grammar is out of whack, I'm sleepy right now. Be blessed.PDDMomofJazzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978401781621234037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-852489551588459422011-08-13T20:09:58.200-07:002011-08-13T20:09:58.200-07:00Hi, I came across your blog a while back and decid...Hi, I came across your blog a while back and decided to visit again, after finally accepting that I have AS traits.<br />I'm a Christian as well, I don't belong to a church (left one and had bad experiences, but hope to find another soon). <br />Anyway, not to be TMI as well, although I've had premarital sex and a child OOW before getting saved, it is hard to remain celibate. I've been celibate for a couple of years now, it doesn't bother me that much, but I do miss the intimacy.<br />It's already a bad thing I got pregnant by a guy (a bad boy/thug) that "took care of my needs well", although it was wrong, it was not worth it. Not because of my child, but because of who he was.<br />I'm glad you took a stand, I wish you much luck and a nice guy will come along, marry you and you will get the marital bliss you deserve!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-45649992617539199122011-05-22T21:04:17.712-07:002011-05-22T21:04:17.712-07:00That is so beautiful :) thanks so much for writin...That is so beautiful :) thanks so much for writing it <3Amamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07533602098882500433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-6107640273343463962011-05-17T22:03:41.321-07:002011-05-17T22:03:41.321-07:00Hi Christy, my new job doesn't take me back to...Hi Christy, my new job doesn't take me back to MD more than once a year, but I have much higher travel commitment than I'm used to. That's part of why I don't post here or on fb as much as I used to- I just don't have the energy to post anything other than pity parties lately, and that's not helpful for anyone, lol!<br /><br />Thanks for stopping bySavedAspiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-47935071892576329522011-05-07T16:55:44.503-07:002011-05-07T16:55:44.503-07:00lol - oops i think i posted that twice. i'm a...lol - oops i think i posted that twice. i'm a terrible blogger. i gotta learn!Christy Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04946116898392930424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-15175493265045063692011-05-07T16:55:04.262-07:002011-05-07T16:55:04.262-07:00hi there! oh gosh after reading through your page...hi there! oh gosh after reading through your pages a little I realize - we are gonna be friends! I help lead worship at a church in Millersville and teach kids on the spectrum. doing sensory-friendly concerts. I dont wanna spam your blog by leaving you a link. You will see soon enough - i just friend requested you on FB. <br />how often do you make it back to MD?Christy Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04946116898392930424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-82696374614307558882011-05-04T21:31:02.747-07:002011-05-04T21:31:02.747-07:00Thanks PierrotThanks PierrotSavedAspiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-34209572963556833892011-04-11T11:34:16.181-07:002011-04-11T11:34:16.181-07:00very well written. will share itvery well written. will share itpierrothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11249452933231952737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-13766069284298516092011-04-04T16:24:53.661-07:002011-04-04T16:24:53.661-07:00Thank you both for your comments! Julian, I espec...Thank you both for your comments! Julian, I especially hope you will be able to find that balance between expressing yourself and being quiet for other people's sake. We're all a work in progress!SavedAspiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-49368123430498047622011-03-31T22:49:59.947-07:002011-03-31T22:49:59.947-07:00I just realized I could be an aspie. I get the sam...I just realized I could be an aspie. I get the same kinds of reactions from people at work, and sometimes other social situations. I keep quiet most of the time because I'm very cautious about what I might say to offend. The realization is almost stunning.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-29154823797487574402011-02-28T07:02:15.293-08:002011-02-28T07:02:15.293-08:00Hey I do the same thing. But I can semi control it...Hey I do the same thing. But I can semi control it to the point where I only do it at home but unfortunately it'll sneak up on me hen I am doing hw. I never drink milk though. I never liked the taste. I do eat allot of other dairy produce though...so not so sure about the milk theory. But do not worry you are not alone. It's funny though because when I daydream It helps me reduce my stress but it takes up allot of my time so it is a "give and take" situation. Hope this helps!JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08928035640705000764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-3837043669620640582011-02-22T19:52:14.330-08:002011-02-22T19:52:14.330-08:00Sorry to hear the day didn't go as you would&#...Sorry to hear the day didn't go as you would've liked. (((hugs))) I've had meltdowns like that before...it's not pretty. I do as you do, I start yelling and then I have to pace to calm myself. What I try to do is sense when they're coming on....once it's happening it's so hard to stop it but if I can be aware beforehand, I can relax myself before I say something I might regret.<br /><br />Basically, I tell myself (either by thinking or whispering to myself) to take deep breaths, b/c I sometimes forget to breathe when I get upset. Then I say (repeating) "This is not a big deal...this is NOT a big deal...Let it go..." Every muscle in my body has tightened up at this point, so I continue by deliberately telling myself to unclench my fists all while breathing deeply. I also pray intermittently during this time.<br /><br />And then if I can I go off on my own. I run upstairs to my computer, or I take a bath or go for a car ride - anything to get some alone time. <br /><br />Hope this helps!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8256678413800009806.post-37419686552035051512011-02-21T20:28:18.514-08:002011-02-21T20:28:18.514-08:00@ICG you are right about the convenience of textin...@ICG you are right about the convenience of texting, LOL!<br /><br />@Kevix, thanks for the link- that article and the reader comments on how they handle people who are always complaining was very interesting. <br /><br />FWIW, I find that many of my aspie friends fall in that "help-rejecting complainer" category.<br /><br />And I have very little patience for that, IN SPITE of the fact that I used be that way myself!!!<br /><br />I eventually learned how much it annoys people, and now try to live by "Don't complain about something if you don't want help." Also, "Don't complain to so-and-so if you know you won't take (or like) his/her advice" is another rule I try to follow. But what I really wanted was sympathy and attention.<br /><br />My, this might make a great blog post... thanks for the inspiration.SavedAspiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711812514826013534noreply@blogger.com